Black tops are an absolute essential as are well fitting jeans. A pair of black pumps is a must as well as some comfortable flats for walking. You get to know these things as you spend time going out and living day to day as a woman (whether part time or full).
Rome wasn't built in a day and I remember learning through trial and error until I got to a wardrobe that fit what type of woman I wanted to portray to the world while respecting my skin colour and body type. I have always tended to favor classic sophistication with a touch of casual which is what I aim for.
By all means experiment with the idea that you are trying to fit into society rather than shock. Although if standing out is your thing then do that. There are no rules. Just be happy with yourself both inside and out.
You go girl!