A tough and disciplined life isn't a bad thing because it builds character. It is only when that life begins to build unnecessary stress that things become undesirable. I know that I added to my own discomfort in feeling like I could not share what I was feeling with others which made me feel alone and vulnerable.

First born discipline did get me a long way but I was repressed and shy. I was able to see other people be loose and jovial but that couldn't be me. It just wasn't in the wiring and I lived mostly in my head which at least helped me develop my intellect.

I've done more analysis on aspects of life than I care to admit but today I live on more feeling and intuition than I used to. I have realized that at a certain point in time the answers won't come and you will be forced into a mental paralysis instead of just living.

It's not that I've stopped analyzing altogether only that now I know when it's not bringing me returns to do so.


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