boundaries

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I've always tried my best to work within the box I lived in.

While I was married I did my best to ignore my dysphoria until one day it overflowed. Then, while I was in my next relationship I did my best to work within the bigger box I was now in and didn't try to push for more. Neither relationship ended because I was trans, although my divorce was based outwardly on this pretext.

I now live in an even bigger box with more space to grow in because I am on my own. Nevertheless, human beings are like this in that we need to be surrounded by comfortable boundaries. The difference now is that, aside from work and visits with my family and children, I entirely set my own with no other considerations.

The space in each bigger room is filled and we stretch out to experience that comfort and going back seems to be a step backward in our development.

In retrospect it all feels incidental, as my initial request at the hospital gender program was that they cure me. Instead, they initiated a long journey towards helping me to finally feel fully right in my own skin as a trans person..


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