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evolution

I have a confession to make: I like the level of traffic I get. It keeps me happy to have just enough readership which reflects the portion of you who are interested in ideas whether they be on trans issues, religion, politics or philosophy. If I wanted more traffic I might think to write a fashion blog or give you a play-by-play of every day of my life but then I wouldn't want to write any longer because that doesn't really interest me very much; plus plenty of others do it so much better than me.

This blog gets half decent traffic which varies between 15,000 to 20,000 pageviews per month. That is reflective of a percentage of you who don't just want me to talk about trans issues or gender theory every time (although I have posted plenty on that). Today I post more often than I used to specifically because I want to touch on so many more subjects and since ideas pop into my head throughout the day I sometimes enter them here. I will also sometimes post music videos or those I find amusing or interesting.

Over its lifetime, the blog went from self help confessional to an extension of myself and its style has morphed as a result. You may have noted the change in prose as well as the calm that has settled into my psyche.

All throughout, my appetite for expressing ideas has hardly waned and, if anything, has only grown with time.

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my last post

This will be my last blog post.

When I wrote recently that this blog had another seven years of life in it I was trying to convince myself that it was true. It was in fact a little bit of self delusion.

With almost 3,000 posts to date I have accomplished what I set out to do which was to heal myself and in the process share some of the struggle I had been through with others on the chance they might find some value in my words. After seven years of writing, my life still isn't perfect; no one's is. But I have discovered a path forward completely free of the trappings which society would have had me adopt so I could fit in.

Over the last 25 years of my life I have turned over every stone I could find while exploring this topic and in the process realized that we haven't even begun to scratch the surface of this deeply complex subject. What I have ultimately learned is that my instincts have more value than what someone who isn't gender dysphoric writes about me. We are …

epilogue

While this blog is most definitely over, I wanted to explain that part of the reason is that it was getting in the way of writing my next book called "Notes, Essays and Short Stories from the North" which will combine philosophy, trans issues, my observations on life, some short fiction and things that have happened to me over my life and continue to (both trans related and not).

When it is complete I will post the news here and will be happy to send you a free copy upon request in either PDF or eBook format. All I ask is that you provide me with some feedback once you're done reading it.

I'm only in the early stages so it will be a while.

Be well all of you....

sample pages...
















One transgender woman's take on AGP

This entry from the transhealth website dates back to 2001 and it offers a very nice dissection of the now mostly debunked but still controversial AGP theory and how this transgender woman could care two cents about it. People who have been trying to marginalize the experience of gynephilic transwomen have pushed for the stigmatizing idea that they are actually perverted men.

Well this soul, who couldn't give a hoot either way, isn't buying any of it and her frankness at times had me chuckling to myself as I read her posting.

If we ever met I would give her a hug for seeing through the BS but mostly for being herself:

"About a year ago I was reading on Dr. Anne Lawrence’s site about a new theory of the origin of trans called “autogynephilia.” This theory asserts that many trans women—and transsexual women in particular—desire reassignment surgery because they are eroticizing the feminization of their bodies.

The first thing that struck me about it, of course, was that it …