Skip to main content

relationships and the gender spectrum

I think that where you reside on the gender spectrum definitely does matter when you are discussing conventional man-woman relationships. However when it comes to any form of relationship, there are complexities regardless.

For example, if you are a crossdresser who sees your activity as another side of who you are then chances are in your favor to find a woman who will tolerate it if not necessarily rejoice ebuliantly at the prospect of her man in a dress.

If you reside on the transsexual side of the spectrum as I and many others do, things get a little bit trickier. You can either suppress your identity and attempt a conventional union, transition and enter into a relationship with a man or (and this is the long shot) find a woman who is that needle in a haystack and is blind to gender giving you the flexibility to transition or not.

My own interest in this area has waned to the point of total atrophy because I have chosen to live honestly above all else and make myself happy. However, I know that many of you struggle with existing relationships or with the desire to enter one while not compromising who you are. No matter where you are though, nothing is easy when you throw any kind of gender incongruence into the mix.

What I have concluded is that there are advantages and disadvantages to either side of singlehood and couplehood and you must grapple or feast in those contained in each set. Ultimately however, we need to conclude that happiness comes from within and no individual can provide that for you. They can unfortunately, provide plenty of misery if they are not for you.


Popular posts from this blog

One transgender woman's take on AGP

This entry from the transhealth website dates back to 2001 and it offers a very nice dissection of the now mostly debunked but still controversial AGP theory and how this transgender woman could care two cents about it. People who have been trying to marginalize the experience of gynephilic transwomen have pushed for the stigmatizing idea that they are actually perverted men. Well this soul, who couldn't give a hoot either way, isn't buying any of it and her frankness at times had me chuckling to myself as I read her posting. If we ever met I would give her a hug for seeing through the BS but mostly for being herself: "About a year ago I was reading on Dr. Anne Lawrence’s site about a new theory of the origin of trans called “autogynephilia.” This theory asserts that many trans women—and transsexual women in particular—desire reassignment surgery because they are eroticizing the feminization of their bodies. The first thing that struck me about it, of course, was t

my last post

This will be my last blog post. When I wrote recently that this blog had another seven years of life in it I was trying to convince myself that it was true. It was in fact a little bit of self delusion. With almost 3,000 posts to date I have accomplished what I set out to do which was to heal myself and in the process share some of the struggle I had been through with others on the chance they might find some value in my words. After seven years of writing, my life still isn't perfect; no one's is. But I have discovered a path forward completely free of the trappings which society would have had me adopt so I could fit in. Over the last 25 years of my life I have turned over every stone I could find while exploring this topic and in the process realized that we haven't even begun to scratch the surface of this deeply complex subject. What I have ultimately learned is that my instincts have more value than what someone who isn't gender dysphoric writes about me. We

Never Say Never....

 I was certain that I would never post here again and yet, here I am. It’s been several years, and life has changed me yet again. I have burrowed further into my psyche to discover more internal truths about myself all in the silence of a life lived with more periods of reflective solitude than ever before. After attempting for many years to be a problem solver for others, I needed to dig deeply to discover who I was, which should be a necessity for all people and an absolute imperative for those of us who dare rub against the grain of conventional society. The most important thing we can do for ourselves is honor the internal voice which has driven us since childhood. That whisper which we were compelled to ignore through our initial indoctrination must be listened to again for guidance. I knew I had spent too long heeding messaging that wasn’t working for me as a trans person, and it was time to stop. For the world gleefully basks in a level ignorance and hypocrisy we are not abl