God wasn't keeping me from self acceptance, but it was instead society's misplaced thinking on what is acceptable within its box of artificial orthodoxy. Humankind is at best limited and at its worst fundamentally stupid which is why it prefers to brainwash its children than allow them to become themselves.
I don't get that much from the Mass anymore due to the limitations of the priests to say anything remotely interesting or stimulating; but that is not the point. My presence there as Joanna is my psychological closure to an episode of self imprisonment and it brings me so much joy to present as myself in a place which defined so much of my life.
I am there and know to my core that I am accepted exactly as I am.