My entire life to date has been an exercise in dysphoria management but the last few years have been particularly significant because it has allowed me to play with what transition might look like. I have done things that 20 years ago would have petrified me to my core such as standing in front of a room full of hundreds of people as Joanna and discover what a non reaction looked like. In fact most of the challenges I thought would be insurmountable turned out to be child's play compared to defeating my own internal demons.

Having a life as a woman named Joanna who is a known entity to many people has been deeply eye opening and has removed the negativity that I couldn't possibly ever transition; no matter in what form.

This turned out to be wrong of course and the experimentation going forward is to see what is right for me devoid of fear and apprehension and with no rule book other than my own.

I could very well stop here and be happy with the massive mental transition process I have already undergone but we shall see.


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