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cloud 9

I am off today and Jacinthe saw me sitting there drinking my coffee. She was all smiles and said

"Oh wow I haven't seen you in ages!"

I used to visit her store on occasion and buy women's fashions when they were on special. We hadn't seen each other for, well for ages.

We started talking about our lives and then our kids. Hers (a daughter and a son) are 33 and 28 respectively and she confided in me that something had been wrong with him for the longest time but she had not been able to pinpoint it.

"Oh Joanna he came to me crying and told me he couldn't live like that anymore. He told me he was transgender!"

My heart skipped a beat. She was going on about the hormone treatments and how happy she is now. Then I just had to speak up:

"You know I am trans right?" I said in French.

Her eyes widened into two saucers

"What?! No way I had no idea! Its like I was meant to run into you today. I would have never known!"

She gave me a huge hug and kissed both my cheeks. Jacinthe is an effervescent and beautiful soul who loves her daughter deeply exactly as she is and she made my heart swell with happiness for both her and this young woman who now has her whole life ahead of her as the woman she was meant to be. Jacinthe wants me to meet her at some point which would be my distinct pleasure. I saw a photo of her daughter and, after seven months of HRT, she looks amazing.

After having an emotional rest of the conversation we excitedly agreed to meet again for coffee. She was late for work and had to run but I remained on cloud 9 for quite some time after.

We each want to know more.

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No, I don't mind

When Halle and I last got together the woman serving us said:

"I can't wait to get home and take off my bra you know what I mean ladies?"

Arguably the statement wasn't the most elegant thing to say to perfect strangers but it made me reflect.

The thing is I don't mind wearing a bra because it is one more reminder that I am trans. Feeling my breast forms pressed up against my skin and cupped within the confines of my bra makes me comfortable and is another piece which contributes towards soothing my gender dysphoria.

There are days when the combination of the feel of my bra and forms, the pull of my dangly earrings and the feel of my feet in heels is a powerful combination which feeds my soul. I used to think this was me fooling myself until I finally admitted that my identity is being affirmed through these accoutrements. They are like badges that allow me to be addressed and treated in the manner I want; like a woman.

The gender identity of cis people is fed in …