If you are afraid or embarrassed to present in a way that you want to then you will not be able to truly undertake the internal journey regarding whether to transition or not. Some of you may know for certain that you never will but others may be teetering on that fence unsure about what to do.
It was only when I learned to let go of all my fears that my vision became clear and I was able to imagine scenarios for myself; would I ever take hormones? Was dressing full time enough? Would I ever want any type of surgeries? These questions can only be answered in the cold light of day devoid of all the trappings of a gender education exclusively meant to serve an unyielding binary.
Not everything is perfectly clear in my mind yet, but what used to be daunting challenges have now become exciting and positive possibilities. Because when we eliminate guilt and fear is how we know we are on the right track towards true self comprehension.
Work on it and you will see.