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How can I?

"The local radio says sorry time to go
But I don't sleep too well
Where are those southern belles
Tryin' to get a telephone line through South Carolina
Your call may bring somebody down for miles around
I'm watching her eyes again
I won't use no fountain pen

The lady isn't here. The message wasn't clear
She left an hour ago, screamed from the floor below
Mother nature never gives in, she wants you to sing
But how can I go on just singing this song
My car's out of gas again
Hurry home to see my friend

Money won't help you to win a new look at things
Loving can bring you down so you fall
Then why do you still try to get up at all
Your good and bad side showing through
Problems are a part of you

You must love someone else or face life by yourself
You may expect a call
She's waiting in the hall
See the garden grows and it grows nobody else knows
And you can wear just any old thing
The show can begin
I'm falling asleep to dream
No more hills to climb it seems

Money won't help you to win a new look at things
You never give in
So why don't you sing
But how can I go on just singing this song
My car's out of gas again
I'll be home to see my friend"


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my last post

This will be my last blog post.

When I wrote recently that this blog had another seven years of life in it I was trying to convince myself that it was true. It was in fact a little bit of self delusion.

With almost 3,000 posts to date I have accomplished what I set out to do which was to heal myself and in the process share some of the struggle I had been through with others on the chance they might find some value in my words. After seven years of writing, my life still isn't perfect; no one's is. But I have discovered a path forward completely free of the trappings which society would have had me adopt so I could fit in.

Over the last 25 years of my life I have turned over every stone I could find while exploring this topic and in the process realized that we haven't even begun to scratch the surface of this deeply complex subject. What I have ultimately learned is that my instincts have more value than what someone who isn't gender dysphoric writes about me. We are …


While this blog is most definitely over, I wanted to explain that part of the reason is that it was getting in the way of writing my next book called "Notes, Essays and Short Stories from the North" which will combine philosophy, trans issues, my observations on life, some short fiction and things that have happened to me over my life and continue to (both trans related and not).

When it is complete I will post the news here and will be happy to send you a free copy upon request in either PDF or eBook format. All I ask is that you provide me with some feedback once you're done reading it.

I'm only in the early stages so it will be a while.

Be well all of you....

sample pages...

One transgender woman's take on AGP

This entry from the transhealth website dates back to 2001 and it offers a very nice dissection of the now mostly debunked but still controversial AGP theory and how this transgender woman could care two cents about it. People who have been trying to marginalize the experience of gynephilic transwomen have pushed for the stigmatizing idea that they are actually perverted men.

Well this soul, who couldn't give a hoot either way, isn't buying any of it and her frankness at times had me chuckling to myself as I read her posting.

If we ever met I would give her a hug for seeing through the BS but mostly for being herself:

"About a year ago I was reading on Dr. Anne Lawrence’s site about a new theory of the origin of trans called “autogynephilia.” This theory asserts that many trans women—and transsexual women in particular—desire reassignment surgery because they are eroticizing the feminization of their bodies.

The first thing that struck me about it, of course, was that it …