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no reason to change things

I’ve known Leticia for about 8 years now. We met at a clothing store where she was working, ended up having coffee and it went from there. She is one of the women I know who doesn’t know I am trans.

We ate brunch together this past Sunday and it was nice to see her. She was diagnosed with a brain tumor and she was given 3 years to live. Four years later she is still alive and well and is a living testament to doctors not always getting the diagnosis right.

I am not going to divulge anything to her at this point because there is no need to. Our relationship would be best described as socially cordial but not overly close and, in my opinion, we don’t see each enough to warrant disclosure. Every time I have thought about telling her I discount it. There are people we get very close to and others remain somewhat at arm’s length and she is in the latter category. Although when we do see each other it is always pleasant, and we tell each other we will see each other again soon.

Leticia was the first person I met as Joanna who I tested my ability to blend in against. Once I found that I could do so with more success than I had anticipated, I saw no reason to change things and still don’t.

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No, I don't mind

When Halle and I last got together the woman serving us said:

"I can't wait to get home and take off my bra you know what I mean ladies?"

Arguably the statement wasn't the most elegant thing to say to perfect strangers but it made me reflect.

The thing is I don't mind wearing a bra because it is one more reminder that I am trans. Feeling my breast forms pressed up against my skin and cupped within the confines of my bra makes me comfortable and is another piece which contributes towards soothing my gender dysphoria.

There are days when the combination of the feel of my bra and forms, the pull of my dangly earrings and the feel of my feet in heels is a powerful combination which feeds my soul. I used to think this was me fooling myself until I finally admitted that my identity is being affirmed through these accoutrements. They are like badges that allow me to be addressed and treated in the manner I want; like a woman.

The gender identity of cis people is fed in …