quasi conventional

It took me a long time to accept that leading an even a quasi conventional life was going to be impossible for me. Eventually the concept was abandoned in favor of a more realistic model of who I was, which removed a significant amount of pressure from my shoulders.

I don't know why I refused to yield for so long but I suppose it was related to not wanting to try so very hard only to finally fail. But then if you are a fox why are you trying to be a tiger? It was probably that fundamental and yet I refused to see it. My happiness has increased significantly for having made that admission.

The pressure on pre-internet era reared trans people was huge and religious orthodoxy only exacerbated matters for me. But in the end, it turns our that change is possible for everyone; even for me.


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