Skip to main content

the little things

It was such a short exchange and yet it was so meaningful to me. This lady I hadn’t seen for a while came up to me

“I haven’t seen you in a long time. You don’t come anymore!”

She is about my age and works at one of the cosmetics counters at a pharmacy I used to frequent

“Life changes and our habits change. By the way you look great” I said as I tapped her lightly on the arm

“You do too dear!”

“Your kids must be on their own now?” I asked

“Yes they are 27 and 25” she responded

“That must give you lots of time alone with your husband?”

“Yes but he also likes to do his own thing” She lamented

“You mean he doesn’t like to go shopping with you?” I said sarcastically

“You know men don’t like to go shopping!”

It was just a little thing but she didn't realize how much she had helped make my day.


  1. Wonderful moment! You'll have more and more. There's a New York pizza place blocks from my place, and while it takes discipline to avoid the ease of just having pizza all the time, it's always nice going in there. The workers are friendly, and tend to recognize people from the neighborhood. Last time I was there, I had been to the beach, and while I was awaiting my slice in the oven, the woman behind the counter said, "You look great! Did you take a vacation?" I mentioned that I just went to the beach, and we started chatting about how great the weather has been in our area, and finding the right bathing suit, etc. Little things indeed!

    1. While this isn't the first moment like this the difference is that I take them in as a normal that leaves me heartened. Before I was more incredulous almost as if they weren't really serious but they were. The biggest change was in me.


Post a comment

Popular posts from this blog

my last post

This will be my last blog post.

When I wrote recently that this blog had another seven years of life in it I was trying to convince myself that it was true. It was in fact a little bit of self delusion.

With almost 3,000 posts to date I have accomplished what I set out to do which was to heal myself and in the process share some of the struggle I had been through with others on the chance they might find some value in my words. After seven years of writing, my life still isn't perfect; no one's is. But I have discovered a path forward completely free of the trappings which society would have had me adopt so I could fit in.

Over the last 25 years of my life I have turned over every stone I could find while exploring this topic and in the process realized that we haven't even begun to scratch the surface of this deeply complex subject. What I have ultimately learned is that my instincts have more value than what someone who isn't gender dysphoric writes about me. We are …


While this blog is most definitely over, I wanted to explain that part of the reason is that it was getting in the way of writing my next book called "Notes, Essays and Short Stories from the North" which will combine philosophy, trans issues, my observations on life, some short fiction and things that have happened to me over my life and continue to (both trans related and not).

When it is complete I will post the news here and will be happy to send you a free copy upon request in either PDF or eBook format. All I ask is that you provide me with some feedback once you're done reading it.

I'm only in the early stages so it will be a while.

Be well all of you....

sample pages...

love of self

If you feel you are doing something wrong it shows. Your demeanor, body language and facial expression all conspire to betray you.

You are a clandestine "man in a dress"; you know it and everyone else can too. Your cover has been blown. I've been there and it's frustrating. The source goes back to your self image and the notion that you are somehow a freak of nature; and perhaps you are but what of it? the only way out is to embrace yourself fully and unconditionally. I don't mean to suggest that you are perfect but just that you were created this way and you need not seek forgiveness for it. You are a creation of God.

Misinterpreted religion is a big culprit in all this. These negative images of yourself came from reinforcement of stereotypes by ignorant people interpreting what is right and moral by their own barometer. You simply ingested the message and bought it as the gospel truth. Self confidence and critical thinking is the way out of your dilemma. It can…