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why we write

I have thought about this blog going into hiatus many times before.

After all, I am a different person than the one who began writing it and over its history I have made an extensive exploration into my psyche which ended up saving my sanity. That is how serious this part of my existence was.

I began this blog when I was hurting badly; trying to come to terms with a breakup and an understanding of why my lifelong battle with gender dysphoria could not be better coped with. I needed tools and a better understanding of the science if I was going to reach true self acceptance.

The most important lesson I drew from my journey over the last seven years is that there is a great deal of effort which must go into forging our characters in this life. This is particularly true if you stand out and you cannot seem to get with the program no matter how hard you try. To a great degree I was a pleaser and thought that by following script I was doing right for myself which turned out not to be true. I am still stretching out new muscles today and learning how to use them which proves it is never too late to learn in life.

We go through our dark times because being trans is very difficult and very complicated. Blogging has helped me get through my dark times.

That is why a blog is really more of a diary that you would write even if no one were to read it.

It is primarily for you.

Comments

  1. I had written a personal journal years before, but blogging actually made a difference. Because others would read it, I had to really think about how to express what I felt. Putting it as clearly as possible into words made everything I was feeling real to me. Getting support in comments didn't hurt, of course!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I admit that the comments are nice but I would write regardless.

      One thing I do appreciate is the fact that some people have told me that my thoughts helped them with their own reflection which is my primary draw from making things public; I am helping someone else who might be struggling.

      Delete

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