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my expanding universe

It seems that I am now unofficially Patricia’s big sister and she will sometimes text me “how is your day going big sis?”

We have become close since we met each other over a business proposition, and she is hopefully on the cusp of making a real go of her company.

She has only met me in male mode once, so she only thinks of me as a woman. I have written here before that if I hadn’t told her I was trans she wouldn’t have known which was very validating. But I had to tell her because she had contacted the male and not the female and so I made a now or never decision to only present as Joanna right from the outset. This way I could test what it would feel like to do business as a woman which then led to that presentation I attended as Joanna. An event which turned out to be almost anticlimactic.

It has been proven to me over the years that gender is such a small part of who we are and what comes out of our brains is so much more important. But for me gender and all its trappings was a huge hurdle I could not get past.

Patricia has given me the chance to challenge myself and my self imposed limitations. My time living mostly as a woman in Toronto in 2017 plus working with her has been very edifying and has expanded my universe just a little bit more.

So I move along carefully but with one foot always ready to press on the brake which has always been my way.

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sample pages...
















love of self

If you feel you are doing something wrong it shows. Your demeanor, body language and facial expression all conspire to betray you.

You are a clandestine "man in a dress"; you know it and everyone else can too. Your cover has been blown. I've been there and it's frustrating. The source goes back to your self image and the notion that you are somehow a freak of nature; and perhaps you are but what of it? the only way out is to embrace yourself fully and unconditionally. I don't mean to suggest that you are perfect but just that you were created this way and you need not seek forgiveness for it. You are a creation of God.

Misinterpreted religion is a big culprit in all this. These negative images of yourself came from reinforcement of stereotypes by ignorant people interpreting what is right and moral by their own barometer. You simply ingested the message and bought it as the gospel truth. Self confidence and critical thinking is the way out of your dilemma. It can…