As good as it gets

I have lived long enough and know a sufficient amount of couples to conclude that most human beings are ill fated in their attempts to successfully mate for life. For many if not most, there is an awakening where what they had envisioned has turned to disillusion and the stark realisation that their match was far less perfect than their wedding day might have promised.

Human beings need love and security and sometimes these pairings provide it in their own peculiar way. My ex-inlaws for example, have an almost Munchausen by proxy type relationship where her need for control perfectly meets his mild ineptitude. It is a psychological match made in heaven even if slightly steeped in dysfunction. Others cling to financial dependence or to children as glue which will perfectly keep the union alive if not necessarily healthier.

Two secure people who look beyond the external packaging to find the soul underneath are the most likely to make viable and lasting connections. Devoid of need to make their partners substitutes for parents, therapists or bank machines they join forces to create something bigger than each of them and may even shine a beacon as example for others to follow.

Nothing is perfect but this might be as good as it gets.


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