Most trans people have a problem with expectation. Having been raised to play a role others around are accustomed to seeing you fulfill, any drastic change on your part can make them uncomfortable. Whether you are the eldest in the family (as is my case) or some featured part in another social structure, there will always be those who balk at your audacity of coming out and changing the rules.

Notice how this is all about them and not a lot about you

The interesting thing to note is that we do not often choose these structures. For example we do not choose our parents or our siblings and cannot predict or affect how they think. You are the master of what you think about yourself and trying to please them will only hurt you in the process. So while I can still love and respect my siblings, I have let them go and opened a gap between us necessitated by my need to find myself. Granted that I fed into that process by fulfilling my role, but then once I came out, my overtures to them were largely ignored or given lip service.

Therefore, in order to make a new life, I needed to distance myself from expectation.


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