If you reject your own trans nature even partially you cannot fully be yourself which will in turn impact your psyche in some fashion. I am not suggesting that this is easy since the messaging you received from early childhood was aimed at promoting self-hate. Hence, any morsel of even grudging acceptance thrown your way was akin to manna from heaven.This has been the primary journey of my life: to come to terms fully with my own identity.
People who are able to fit more adequately into society cannot comprehend the magnitude of this task for some of us. But once there, a feeling of relief washes over us and is only reinforced by spending quality time with people who really get you and get past your gender as being the primary marker that constitutes your personhood.
Next month I have a lunch with four women co-workers who I have come out to over the last few years. Each is wonderful in her own way and all have gained my trust through their spirit of generosity and openness. Even the title of the email invite (lunch with Joanna) was a heartwarming reminder of how some people help restore a faith in human beings; one that has been tarnished through decades of observing the extent to which cruelty also plays a role in our daily existence.