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The road

After a while, transsexuals run out of road. No longer able to hold back the tide they succumb to embracing who they are to the degree they are able to in life. For some this may take the form of social transition while for others only a full medical process will restore their mental and physical wellness.

For a long time I resisted identifying as transsexual and employed an iron will to deny any such notion but in the end there was no way around it. All of my introspection led me to what I had instinctively known since early childhood but dare not admit to myself. After all, during my time we dare not even speak of such things. If we resist for as long as I did, giving up can feel like a failure except that i don't feel worse for wear and was finally able to put down the baggage I carried for so long. There is no shame in admitting one is transsexual any more than admitting any other way one is born and, more importantly, recognizing that it must be treated is pivotal. This is why I feel such joy for young trans kids who can be helped early in life.

My own solution is perhaps not perfect but social transition has allowed me to reconcile my past while simultaneously embracing my trans nature for the future. It is also the type of compromise that, my thirty year old self, would have deemed utterly unthinkable.


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