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Change over the decades

When I was much younger the expression of my trans identity was sporadic and infrequent because it was steeped in shame. As a result when it did happen much emphasis was put on making it count before things were tossed away. This meant making sure that the external presentation was focused on.

Today as I have gained a more wholistic view of my identity, that expression has morphed and requires I focus less on externals. What is interesting is that this has not been a deliberate choice but rather a natural progression and a result of living mostly as Joanna. Even among cisgender men and women there is a range of preference and focus and hence it makes sense that the same should apply to trans people. I have seen transsexuals trade in their jeans and T-shirts for those of the other gender and be happy.

I never envisioned myself being where I am and it is fascinating to me how I have changed both internally and externally over the decades.

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