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In isolation

I have wondered whether it is preferable to heal your own psyche versus being guided by a therapist. I am still on the fence on both approaches as I find inconveniences and benefits in both.

One of the dangers of seeking help is finding the wrong specialist and then being even unintentionally goaded onto a path which doesn't suit you. One thing is for certain: doing it yourself takes longer but what I liked about it is that I was able to be certain of each step as it had been pondered over for quite some time. The other problem with therapists is that many are not well versed in trans issues.

One of the gender therapists I was sporadically seeing wanted me in her group sessions because she wanted my input with her transsexual patients. I was flattered but I declined because I was afraid of groupthink and didn't yet trust my ability to resist embarking on a medical transition I was still marinating over in my mind. Interestingly I am now more than ever convinced that they are stupendous decisions for some but not for everyone and my precarious perch on the spectrum meant I needed to reflect more than most.

The heavy lifting paid off and I am happy with my imperfect decision but I am uncertain whether I could have reached it without a process of isolation which an introvert like me requires.


  1. As you suggest, there is no single way when it comes to therapy, or therapists.
    When starting with mine, she made it clear that she had no experience with trans issues. Staying the course with her turned out to be pivotal for me as she helped me open doors to my innermost motivations. That was key to allowing me to carry out a more thorough self-examination.
    It seems to me that one must be passionate about digging into ones own psyche and once there, be totally honest with oneself - not easy. Often very messy down in there!

    1. OMG is it ever messy Deanna! :) I am so glad things worked out well for you on that front


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