I have written here about imposter syndrome before which is something not just trans people suffer from. Since we are indoctrinated from birth, accepting yourself as something other than what you were raised to be can be an overwhelming task. Even as I knew from an early age that something was up with my gender I dare not verbalize it and risk punishment.Imposter syndrome has everything to do with self doubt and if you saw my recent posting from Dr. Z it also ties into not wanting to destroy other people's perceptions of us. It is as if we feel we owe them what they expect which is of course self defeating because by being ourselves we are not imposing.
It wasn't until I learned that I wasn't just someone dressing up as some sort of habit or pleasure that things finally sunk in. My gender dysphoria was becoming increasingly hard to ignore and something had to be done. By addressing it properly I realized that my transgender nature wasn't an act but a tangible reality that I could no longer escape.