We are often our own worst enemies and while attending my nephew's 30th birthday party some members of my family asked why Joanna hadn't come. I had been mulling it over but in the end realized that I am not comfortable unless others are which is one of the crosses I still bear. It is why I have built a life apart from my extended family so I can begin anew.I am my own obstacle now and need to get past trying to give them the personage that they expect; who they always thought I was.
It was encouraging of course and even the clumsy words of openness from one sibling I took in stride because I know the intent was to make me feel comfortable and welcome.
I have yet to bridge the world I'm building now with the old one but there is no urgency with which to do it.