Back in 2008 I became convinced that I could get by as an occasional crossdresser. Having refused further treatment I had been approved for at the Montreal General hospital gender identity clinic (where I had asked them to fix me), I resolved to try and live as "normal" a life as possible. This was just after my divorce.

But as fate would have it, transsexualism isn't defeated through will power and eventually the chickens come home to roost despite your best efforts. It's been a lesson for me in how to accept things and not avoid what you have known since childhood but were taught to disavow. I have strong willpower but it was proving to be my undoing and something had to change lest my mental health suffer as a result.

If you are reading a person today who is more self assured and content it is because I learned to stop denying the obvious.


  1. No, as those who hate us will say, you cannot change who you are, or your gender. The strange turnabout here is the fact that some of us were assigned to the wrong team at birth. As you say, we cannot change that through will power.
    When we stop fighting a war against ourselves, contentment and self-assurance are finally possible.

    1. What didn't help us was being born during a time when such things were considered absurd. I simply went along with the plan until I realized I could do it no longer


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