Sparing others

“Sparing others from seeing us be ourselves” sounds like an odd turn of phrase doesn’t it? But that is exactly what trans people do. We hide for the benefit of other people so they don’t feel somehow uncomfortable or are in any way perturbed by our identities. 

Over time, I have begun to distance myself from influences that could harm my psyche and sense of self-worth. I still wish these people well but their expectations of who I was supposed to be weighed on me and I felt forced to comply because that is what I did for many years. That distancing includes members of my own family.

If you aren't already there, there may come a time in your life when you get tired of complying to make someone else feel comfortable.


  1. Dear Joanna ,        I wouldn't want many friends and family feeling sorry for me expressing my transfeminine identity .


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