To a great extent, if you are trans, you need to grieve your former self. That persona you spent so much time and effort crafting for public consumption (especially if you are older) must be dissected and time spent reflecting on what that image meant and perhaps still does.
Those who can successfully compartmentalize their variance are perhaps fine with a balance point, but when the two sides begin to fade into one, there is a need to figure out how much of that former self was performance versus reality. That exercise is being completed as I write this and it will take the time it needs because the greater the investment was, the more profound the introspection which will be required. This, whether you physically transition or not.