Playing it by ear

I spoke to my daughter and she is fine with me on occasion having people over who don't know I'm trans and playing along. I have thus far avoided that scenario and with the pandemic it's been easy to not deal with it.

I am not her mother but it won't harm anyone if the people I have no intention of telling aren't the wiser. I just don't want to feel constrained with these acquaintances that I've befriended over the last few years. She may not meet them but if they are over I don't want awkward surprises either. My daughter doesn't care that I am trans and will comply.
Who knows who I will come out to in the future but I don't want to rock the boat just now. My friend Leticia is one such example of a not overly close friend who dates back about 10 years and have decided against coming out to as I see her once or twice a year at most.
I will continue to play things by ear as I have a mixture of people who know and who do not and it is not all obvious. Cecile, Louise, Laura, Janet and Nicole all know me as a woman and there are number of others who I see in differing frequencies.
One day at a time I tell myself :)


  1. Having her say, "I'm her daughter" instead of dealing with the uncomfortable, "She's my mom" works in some situations. My daughters have learned that, and they just call me Connie around other people; they already have a mom.

    1. Of course, my grandchildren now call me Grams, so that's what I'm called by my daughters, too, when the family gets together. My eldest daughter still wants to call me Daddy, but she's good about honoring my request that she not do it around other people. She's slowly letting the Daddy-thing go, though.

    2. Takes time bit if they love you that's what counts:)


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