Disadvantages

Linda sent me a lovely email asking a question which I thought I would address here rather than responding only to her. Her question was about the disadvantages I see regarding being a woman. In fairness the way I live now is still an idealized form because, in spite of many of my colleagues knowing I am trans, I haven't had to face the kind of rude and patronizing behaviour that many women do. Things are much better now but even my friend Patricia who is only 46 has had men suggest she sit on their lap. This is both lude and condescending and more apt to be made by older entitled white men.

For example, I don't like being leered at or chatted up when I haven't given permission which is pretty much standard fare for many if not most women. The dismissive attitude in the board room has improved greatly in my lifetime but there is still much work to be done. I think we need to be careful not to glamorize what can eventually become routine when one lives full time. For those who can only express themselves through sporadic outings we can be tempted to see only what is desirable and fun and leave out the disadvantages that those who transition most assuredly have experienced on more than one occasion.

The professional women I know who know I am trans have given me more than an earful about what their life is like sometimes which removed much of the gloss from the surface of a reality I didn't ask to be born with.

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