The hesitant trans

I can personally attest to the fact that once you are at a plateau which suits you in your trans journey, there is no going back. It's like entering a hot bath where at first you are tentative but then acclimatize and you don't want to step out. I have reflected at length on what would happen if I regressed and sadly it would be an increase of stress and unhappiness. In spite of the fact that I have a unique formula that isn't perfect it calms the dysphoria to the greatest degree I have ever achieved. People who aren't self accepting might see this as succumbing but I see it as improving my quality of life.

Having spent many years seeing being trans as an affliction (which the early years of this blog can attest to), I have perhaps a different perspective than some. My steps have been measured and tenuous and while I reject terms like bi-gender as applying to myself, I think the moniker of "hesitant trans" is much more apropos.


  1. I agree that once one accepts themself as trans there is no going back. It is, ironically, like the Matrix movies. Once you take the red pill and see what the Matrix really is you can't unlearn that. At that point it is about finding what works for you. Maybe one does nothing, maybe they transition or maybe they do something in between. That's what it seems like to me.


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