The old model of the married man sneaking off to a gender variant convention feels a bit anachronistic today and if we are still doing that in 20 years we might have failed as a society. For contrast, imagine women doing similarly so they can be permitted to put on a suit and tie should they desire. It just doesn't feel right somehow.

Casa Susannah, perhaps the archetypal manifestation of this behavior, would see plain vanilla 1950's businessmen spend a week regaling in this part of themselves after which they could go back into regular society. Rather than risk being shamed at home, upstate New York became a temporary oasis where they could exercise this penchant for frocks and heels.

I never begrudge anyone the right to do this, but personally I needed to stop hiding and face the world by blending into it. It became mandatory and if one is to destigmatize any form of gender variance, it must be allowed to breathe and be recognized as just another component stemming from a very complex species. Young people are of course out much sooner and exhibit their inclinations for just dressing up or perhaps fully transitioning if trans because they have understood that there is no value in hiding any part of themselves despite the threat of criticism. They have also abandoned the old labels and just allow themselves to be without overthinking (one of my own unfortunate sins). They are also open and proud from the outset when they meet potential partners who are more than free to walk away.

Therefore the current societal backlash, as painful as it is, will be worthwhile if it ultimately brings progress and more people out from hiding. That being said, thanks to pervasive programming, I feel that my generation and those before, are generally a lost cause.


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