I eventually learned

Sherry and I have been chatting on and off for about 15 years. An early transitioner (by age 25), she has been one of my most ardent supporters and when I didn't believe in myself she did. She was constantly talking about who I was while I saw dysphoria as an illness borne out of self deception. Her stubbornness paid off but she still tells me I drove her crazy with my denial. I just couldn't take anyone else's word for it no matter how well intentioned. Those who have followed this blog a long time know how positively mule-headed I can be :)

It turns out, for example, that trans people aren't dressing up as anything other than themselves which was one of the lessons she helped drill into me such that I viscerally came to understand and believe it for myself. There is no pretending and as obvious as that may sound to some, it isn't when you don't yet know who you are.

It ultimately became the last piece of what I needed to comprehend.

Comments

  1. "trans people aren't dressing up as anything other than themselves"

    For over 30+ years I was in denial with my crossdressing. I would do it (with the euphoria and shame), but not ask why because I was afraid to. Then 1 day while wearing a full skirt suit outfit at home I had a eureka moment of clarity. I said to myself "this feels right, this feels normal." Why does this feel normal? Why doesn't this feel like a costume? It feels normal. This hit me harder than anything I have experienced. And it was the moment I finally accepted my crossdressing and began to ask the tough questions and do research. Over the course of multiple years of intense research (which includes reading this blog from back to front) my "denials" began to chip away where I finally realized I am Trans.

    I realized WHY wearing that outfit "felt right." I was dressing as myself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. so this means you can do away with the term crossdressing then? :)

      Delete
    2. LOL, you got me! :-D I have build in some habits over the last 2 years.

      Delete

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