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Coming Out

Coming out, particularly for those of us who are older, can be extremely frightening but, as I have personally discovered, we tend to be our own worst enemies here. We envision nightmare scenarios where everyone around us will abandon ship and never want to see us again. In the vast majority of cases however, this turns out to be false particularly if you handle things with sensitivity and deftness. You need to understand that for those close to us this can be a very shocking revelation even if ultimately it is not seen as a negative one.

I have not lost a single friend or family member over my being transgender mostly because they are all great people who have enough sensitivity and intelligence to know that I did not choose this path. It is simply who I am and always have been. My children have also been wonderful in large part because I brought them along slowly on my journey.

Therefore choose your occasions wisely and go slow and you will be mostly pleasantly surprised as to how coming out can be a very cathartic experience. It will likely lift a heavy weight from your shoulders you've been carrying for years and give you a new lease on life which is what it did for me.

Remember that if someone rejects you because you are trans, maybe they weren't worth knowing in the first place.

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my last post

This will be my last blog post.

When I wrote recently that this blog had another seven years of life in it I was trying to convince myself that it was true. It was in fact a little bit of self delusion.

With almost 3,000 posts to date I have accomplished what I set out to do which was to heal myself and in the process share some of the struggle I had been through with others on the chance they might find some value in my words. After seven years of writing, my life still isn't perfect; no one's is. But I have discovered a path forward completely free of the trappings which society would have had me adopt so I could fit in.

Over the last 25 years of my life I have turned over every stone I could find while exploring this topic and in the process realized that we haven't even begun to scratch the surface of this deeply complex subject. What I have ultimately learned is that my instincts have more value than what someone who isn't gender dysphoric writes about me. We are …


While this blog is most definitely over, I wanted to explain that part of the reason is that it was getting in the way of writing my next book called "Notes, Essays and Short Stories from the North" which will combine philosophy, trans issues, my observations on life, some short fiction and things that have happened to me over my life and continue to (both trans related and not).

When it is complete I will post the news here and will be happy to send you a free copy upon request in either PDF or eBook format. All I ask is that you provide me with some feedback once you're done reading it.

I'm only in the early stages so it will be a while.

Be well all of you....

sample pages...

love of self

If you feel you are doing something wrong it shows. Your demeanor, body language and facial expression all conspire to betray you.

You are a clandestine "man in a dress"; you know it and everyone else can too. Your cover has been blown. I've been there and it's frustrating. The source goes back to your self image and the notion that you are somehow a freak of nature; and perhaps you are but what of it? the only way out is to embrace yourself fully and unconditionally. I don't mean to suggest that you are perfect but just that you were created this way and you need not seek forgiveness for it. You are a creation of God.

Misinterpreted religion is a big culprit in all this. These negative images of yourself came from reinforcement of stereotypes by ignorant people interpreting what is right and moral by their own barometer. You simply ingested the message and bought it as the gospel truth. Self confidence and critical thinking is the way out of your dilemma. It can…