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Self-Acceptance

Self-acceptance can be a brutal journey most especially if you were raised in a conservative environment where your reality could be regarded as a sin or as severe mental illness. But hard as it may be, you must get there because barring that, your life risks being more difficult than it needs to be. You may end up living most or all of it in the shadows and never really know what it's like to be who you really are.

I am certain that if I can do it then so can you because I came from so far back. My strict religious upbringing and conservative nature made things very hard for me and yet I needed to persevere because I was slowly sinking and eventually hit a massive crisis by my mid 40's. That event finally forced me to come terms with who I had always been and accept instincts which were different and which were steeped in being drawn to embodying another gender; something which I had repeatedly tried to suppress and ignore while growing up because I thought I was supposed to.

I ultimately realized that these instincts were never going to change and I needed to accept myself exactly as I was. Being trans is not an easy road to begin with, but it is made considerably more rocky in the absence of self-acceptance.

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my last post

This will be my last blog post.

When I wrote recently that this blog had another seven years of life in it I was trying to convince myself that it was true. It was in fact a little bit of self delusion.

With almost 3,000 posts to date I have accomplished what I set out to do which was to heal myself and in the process share some of the struggle I had been through with others on the chance they might find some value in my words. After seven years of writing, my life still isn't perfect; no one's is. But I have discovered a path forward completely free of the trappings which society would have had me adopt so I could fit in.

Over the last 25 years of my life I have turned over every stone I could find while exploring this topic and in the process realized that we haven't even begun to scratch the surface of this deeply complex subject. What I have ultimately learned is that my instincts have more value than what someone who isn't gender dysphoric writes about me. We are …

epilogue

While this blog is most definitely over, I wanted to explain that part of the reason is that it was getting in the way of writing my next book called "Notes, Essays and Short Stories from the North" which will combine philosophy, trans issues, my observations on life, some short fiction and things that have happened to me over my life and continue to (both trans related and not).

When it is complete I will post the news here and will be happy to send you a free copy upon request in either PDF or eBook format. All I ask is that you provide me with some feedback once you're done reading it.

I'm only in the early stages so it will be a while.

Be well all of you....

sample pages...
















One transgender woman's take on AGP

This entry from the transhealth website dates back to 2001 and it offers a very nice dissection of the now mostly debunked but still controversial AGP theory and how this transgender woman could care two cents about it. People who have been trying to marginalize the experience of gynephilic transwomen have pushed for the stigmatizing idea that they are actually perverted men.

Well this soul, who couldn't give a hoot either way, isn't buying any of it and her frankness at times had me chuckling to myself as I read her posting.

If we ever met I would give her a hug for seeing through the BS but mostly for being herself:

"About a year ago I was reading on Dr. Anne Lawrence’s site about a new theory of the origin of trans called “autogynephilia.” This theory asserts that many trans women—and transsexual women in particular—desire reassignment surgery because they are eroticizing the feminization of their bodies.

The first thing that struck me about it, of course, was that it …