The thought process you need to go through should be thorough and devoid of outside pressures which fit someone else's standards of authenticity. We are all human and have different social and religious backgrounds which will dramatically affect our reflection process. The only standard you need to meet is your own and I know people from all over the spectrum who lead fruitful and meaningful lives while honoring identities which do not all necessarily meet conventional models of gender expression. No matter what you decide to do, it is never easy to buck the trend and follow your own path in a world that seems to religiously worship conformity.
Above all, just be yourself because you are a unique creation of God and, in that knowledge, do not be afraid to self-define as it is your body and your life.