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What Makes Us Trans?

We don't really know what makes someone feel they are in some way trans, however it is entirely logical that we should exist. After all, both sexuality and gender identity are intrinsically biologically determined and hence subject to all kinds of anomalies. Over the last numbers of decades, we have conclusively found that human behaviour and identity are contained within a spectrum rather than defined by isolated and static models which suited organized religion as well as socio-political entities that relied heavily on human predictability and uniformity. Many of us, myself included, grew up hoping we could repair ourselves but eventually reality sinks in and we rightly conclude that we are part of the fabric of humanity. We may not readily fit well with the majority, but have every right to fair treatment.

Reality is far more complex than any manufactured ideals and many of us suffered needlessly under the yolk of the stupidity of a humanity which today I have little patience for. Hence, for my own sanity, I have learned to outgrow the small-mindedness of a culture which kept me subjugated under its artificial regulations for more years than I care to admit.

In this blog you will find seven years of personal reflection on this very heavy topic culminating in my liberation from the ignorance and malice of the weak minded. Having researched this subject for many years, I can safely state that anyone presuming to conclusively tell you why you are the way you are is necessarily a charlatan, a fool or both. Hence, a healthy dose of skepticism here would be an asset to you.

Therefore, in the absence of scientific certainty, I would suggest that you find out who what defines you and then live that reality as best you can within this imperfect creation of ours. Do not be too quick to label yourself and just move along and discover who you are by removing obstacles to your personal growth along the way.

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When I wrote recently that this blog had another seven years of life in it I was trying to convince myself that it was true. It was in fact a little bit of self delusion.

With almost 3,000 posts to date I have accomplished what I set out to do which was to heal myself and in the process share some of the struggle I had been through with others on the chance they might find some value in my words. After seven years of writing, my life still isn't perfect; no one's is. But I have discovered a path forward completely free of the trappings which society would have had me adopt so I could fit in.

Over the last 25 years of my life I have turned over every stone I could find while exploring this topic and in the process realized that we haven't even begun to scratch the surface of this deeply complex subject. What I have ultimately learned is that my instincts have more value than what someone who isn't gender dysphoric writes about me. We are very …


While this blog is most definitely over, I wanted to explain that part of the reason is that it was getting in the way of writing my next book called "Notes, Essays and Short Stories from the North" which will combine philosophy, trans issues, my observations on life, some short fiction and things that have happened to me over my life and continue to (both trans related and not).

When it is complete I will post the news here and will be happy to send you a free copy upon request in either PDF or eBook format. All I ask is that you provide me with some feedback once you're done reading it.

I'm only in the early stages so it will be a while.

Be well all of you....

sample pages...

No, I don't mind

When Halle and I last got together the woman serving us said:

"I can't wait to get home and take off my bra you know what I mean ladies?"

Arguably the statement wasn't the most elegant thing to say to perfect strangers but it made me reflect.

The thing is I don't mind wearing a bra because it is one more reminder that I am trans. Feeling my breast forms pressed up against my skin and cupped within the confines of my bra makes me comfortable and is another piece which contributes towards soothing my gender dysphoria.

There are days when the combination of the feel of my bra and forms, the pull of my dangly earrings and the feel of my feet in heels is a powerful combination which feeds my soul. I used to think this was me fooling myself until I finally admitted that my identity is being affirmed through these accoutrements. They are like badges that allow me to be addressed and treated in the manner I want; like a woman.

The gender identity of cis people is fed in …